A Miracle (and the year after)

A year ago, I faced my fear of surgery. 

For many of us, we aren’t too fond of hearing the words, “removing an organ.” Who would want to, anyway? But then, when you need something, what you want no longer matters.  

I had been delaying my surgery, even after receiving numerous recommendations from different doctors, afraid of the process, afraid of being cut open on a table, afraid of the possible complications, afraid of the many things that could go wrong. Even the medical term for the surgery, “total thyroidectomy,” sounded foreign and intimidating to me. Total thyroidectomy? Why would I undergo that? 

From the start, I had always thought that I was on the right path—that my faith was enough to heal me, that the natural treatment I was undergoing was enough for me. Little did I know about God’s plan. Despite the improvement in my health, the lump in my neck began to cause discomfort, blocking my airway whenever I lay down. This was what finally pushed me to go for surgery. 

I was in the hospital for four days. On day 1, I met with my surgeon. He told me, “This is big. Why didn’t you get it removed earlier?” I felt a sliver of fear, but it faded away soon enough. On day 2, early in the morning, they began to prep me for surgery. The residents explained the possible complications: bleeding, accidental removal of the parathyroid glands, damage to the laryngeal nerve (voice box) et cetera. I wasn’t bothered by what they had said. I was no longer afraid. 

I was rolled into the OR at 11AM sharp. As I lay on the operating table, surrounded by big lights and doctors in blue, my mind flashed back to a recurring vision I had during my meditations, months before that very moment. I remember seeing the exact same thing: bright lights, and a circle of doctors and nurses surrounding me, dressed in blue scrubs. As the anesthesia seeped in, the last thing I remembered was the soft, mellow music, my eyes drifting shut.

I woke up three hours later in the Recovery Room. My nurse was shocked to hear me speak—albeit very weakly and hoarsely: “Anong oras na? Nasaan ko?” He turned to me and said, “Whoa, the patient’s already speaking!” Usually, patients with cases like mine often lost the ability to speak for hours, even days.

They wheeled me back to my room, chattering about how amazing it was that I had the strength to speak after a total thyroidectomy. Both my endocrinologist and surgeon were amazed. “It’s like nothing happened. Aba, here you are up and about!” The medical team was surprised, too, to hear that the surgery had no complications: no bleeding, a functioning voicebox, and normal calcium levels. I was even given a normal diet the following day after surgery. No soft foods needed!

I stayed 4 days and 3 nights in the hospital. Since the moment I stepped foot in the lobby, I did not feel any fear, worry, doubt – I felt no negativity. All I had was my faith in Him, my heart overflowing with His unconditional love, my soul trusting in His ways. In those 4 days, I knew and felt that God was with me, working through the doctors, loving me through my family and friends, and never once leaving my side. To be in His presence during those times was absolutely, incomparably, undoubtedly beautiful. He is the most wonderful thing, friend. He is our most wonderful thing. I once was scared, now I’m scarred – and living in His sacred love.