Finding My Purpose

"And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. "

Romans 8:28

“What is my life’s purpose?”

That question has been lingering in the back of my head for years now. It has become a sort of life quest — wouldn’t anyone want to know why exactly they were placed here, to live? Just this month, I’ve become more determined to know the answer to that question. On my birthday, I brought Dr. Rick Warren’s book, The Purpose Driven Life (which has helped many, from prisoners to high-ranking execs) to the beach, imagining myself reading it. In reality, I wasn’t able to read a single word of it, choosing to sit by the sand and swim in the sea instead. When we got home, my heart felt some sort of emptiness, knowing I still didn’t know the answer to my question.

We all have chosen our comfort zone at least once in our life. We’ve all chosen the easy route, rather than the hard path, despite knowing that there might be something great behind it. In my case, I decided to relax instead of picking up that book and reading.

But God truly works in mysterious ways. He lead me — and He pushed me. He didn’t let that week pass with me feeling empty and with my question remaining unanswered. Being rushed to the hospital days after my birthday was His way of calling me. I made a deal with God — that if ever it was my last chance, I promised to do this blog. He pushed me to take action — to finally write this blog, to share my faith and share His love, and His goodness in my life.

Years ago, I had the same desire: to share my faith and inspire others, to help draw people closer to Him. But over time, I forgot about it. Though I’ve been receiving messages for me to do so for so long now, I didn’t start until June. I didn’t launch it immediately because I was scared. Of judgment. Of criticism. Of making mistakes. But as I linked this blog to my social media accounts, I realized that I was ready. Ready to declare God’s goodness in my life. I just had to do this. I prayed that someone would read my blog and somehow be inspired — even if it was just one stranger halfway across the world.

When I woke up, somebody had messaged me, thanking me for sharing my blog. I cried, my heart fulfilled. My question had been answered. It was a euphoric feeling, like a long-lost key found, unlocking the door to my purpose. Knowing that I finally knew what to do, there was one thing left…saying yes to Him.

We’re a stubborn species. Years ago, starting with the Adam and Eve, with Jacob, with Jonah — we become deaf to what God is trying to tell us. Because we don’t like His answer. Because we don’t want to do what He says — because it’s hard, because it’s painful.

But, sometimes, we have to go through that darkness, through that pain — through that valley of shadow and death to get to the light. To walk with Him in the light, carrying out our purpose and fulfilling His mission for us. As Bo Sanchez once said, we can only connect the dots only once it’s happened. We can’t know for sure what’s the purpose of this hardship right now, as we go through it, but when you’re at the end of the line, only then can you see the reason behind it.

Only then can you connect the dots and realize what a great masterpiece God has put together: you.

But you gotta say yes. You gotta say yes to Him, calling you, asking you to trust Him, to take that leap of faith, even though you might not know what’s behind all of it. He’s put a purpose in each and everyone of us, whether it be in the smallest of insects, to the largest of mammals, to the least of us. He has something for you. Maybe you’ve been searching, wondering what it is. And maybe you haven’t seen that answer yet — but have you looked in front of you?

It’s ridiculous how the answer I needed was something I’d said it a million times, mentioned it here a couple of times: share my faith, share His love, share His greatness in my life. It was like one of those illusions you see online, where the negative side of the image suddenly makes sense, and you’re hit with this realization of finally seeing it.

Is God calling you right now? Is He asking you to take His hand and follow Him? Do you feel in your heart that you’re ready? Maybe you feel that you’re not enough. That you’re not worthy. Or that you’re simply not ready. When it comes to serving Him, we won’t ever truly feel that we’re ready, that we’re adequate, that we can fit in this role of serving Him. It’s a struggle many people share — you’re not alone in that feeling. But sometimes, it’s in those insecurities that God works a breakthrough.

October 18, 2018