Trust

Have you ever found yourself in crossroads, torn between two decisions?

For the past few weeks, I’ve felt numbness on the left side of my face. I ignored it though. I didn’t want to focus on things that I didn’t want to happen and to worry myself. But last week, the numbness was persistent. I didn’t want to ignore whatever my body was trying to tell me, so I decided to visit my neurologist the next day.

My neurologist told me that I might have tachycardia. I tried not to worry too much about the things she told me, because I didn’t want to let negativity and worry bother me. I’ve been on maintenance meds ever since my TIA on April, but last June I stopped taking them because it interfered with my natural treatment.

I haven’t had any symptoms or pain from June to September, and now here I was with half of my face feeling numb. I wondered what exactly caused it. Though I do believe that I can get healed naturally and I am more than willing to do everything I can to heal without surgery, maybe God has another plan for me. Maybe He’s pushing me to try a different way. I’m not sure what it is yet, but there is one thing I do know: I trust Him, and His plans. But I’m starting to realize that, maybe, just maybe, God’s leading me to a different path.

It’s hard to make big decisions, especially when you know you’re partial to Plan A, when you want to take this path instead of the other. It’s hard when you’re offered with two paths, and your heart is telling you to take one of them because it’s what you want, rather than what God wants. But the other day as I meditated, I felt Him speak to me, telling me, “Trust Me. Trust in My plan.”

How exactly would we know whether the decision we’re trying to discern is what God wants, or what our subconscious wants? I don’t have the answer to that, and neither do most people.

Maybe you don’t feel Him right now. Maybe you do, but you’re scared of the great unknown ahead — and that’s okay. Even if we don’t understand, even if it hurts, even if we don’t know, there is one thing that we can rely on, the only one we can pin our hopes on, one thing that is constant in this ever-changing world and in the chaos of the unknown: God. Don’t give up that hope. Wherever you are on your journey, hold on. He doesn’t fail, even in the darkest of night, the light still shines, the sun still rises.

So hold on to that thought like a lifehouse in a storm. Hold on to that hope, no matter how absurd or ridiculous it seems to trust, to surrender, to hope in the midst of everything. God is leading you to somewhere great, right now.

Even when it feels like nothing’s moving, like nothing’s going the way you want it to. You’re right where you need to be.

Trust that wherever He puts you, wherever He brings you, He has a purpose for it. Maybe He will reveal His plans along the way. Maybe His plans are right in front of you right now, waiting for you to realize it.

We don’t know what’s in store for us. But He does — and wouldn’t you trust Him? The all-knowing, all-powerful God who sent His only Son to die for you, to die for love, to have great plans for you? It’s crazy how we doubt Him, the God that loved us so recklessly throughout our messy, sinful lives. God so loves you, my friend. And He’s got you. Trust in Him.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.”
Jeremiah 29:11

Be blessed,

Alpha

October 24, 2018